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February 3, 2014
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Sleep, Sugar by RabbitRoses Sleep, Sugar by RabbitRoses
Hear your heart beat
Beat a frantic pace
And it's not even 7 AM
You're feeling the rush
Of anguish settling
You cannot help showing them in

Hurry up then
Or you'll fall behind and
They will take control of you
And you need to heal thr hurt behind your eyes
Fickle words crowding your mind

So
Sleep, sugar, let your dreams flood in
Like waves of sweet fire, you're safe within
Sleep, sweetie, let your floods come rushing in
And carry you over
To a new morning

Try as you might
You try to give it up
Seems to be holding on fast
It's hand in your hand
A shadow over you
A beggar for soul in your face

Still it don't matter, if you won't listen
If you won't let it follow you
You just need to heal
Make good all your lies
Move on and don't look behind

So
Sleep, sugar, let your dreams flood in
Like waves of sweet ifre, your'e safe within
Sleep, sweetie, let your floods come rushing in
And carry you over
To a new morning

Day after day
Fickle visions, messing with your head
Fickle, vicious 
Sleeping in your bed
Messing with your head
Fickle visions
Fickle, vicious.
"Sleep", Poets of The Fall www.youtube.com/watch?v=c_w4A_…


Alright, it's high time that I cleared some things up on Vanilla.
For the longest time I've been holding back on developing her and giving her a fully recognized backstory, because I wasn't sure if I should let her be more of her own person or keep her very similar to me. Ultimately I decided that, if she's going to fit in with Delune, she needs to have a background. So, after spending a couple months thinking over her story, I finally have a finalized version.

And so, let me give you all a better introduction to Vanilla, and where she came from.

A very long time ago, the barrier that kept the mortal realm of Delune separate from the supernatural forces of the spirit worlds used to be very strong. And magic, supernatural happenings, and other strange things were not something that existed in Delune. That is until, one day, a traveller decided to let her curiosity get the better of her-- despite being warned not to meddle with forces that she didn't understand, she selfishly sought out a way into the spirit realm. And as a result, she fractured that sacred barrier and unleashed all sorts of unknown and mysterious forces into Delune. Both good, and bad.

The higher powers where not pleased with this mortal for destroying the balance of things, and so, a curse was placed on the traveller for her actions. She was cursed to be reborn, over and over, and watch over the madness that she had unleashed for all time.

And so, as centuries passed, the woman was reborn and reborn into many different forms. From a priestess in a medieval Delune, to a gangster in the 1940s. Each time she would die, she would be born again as someone new. In her first few incarnations, she knew who she was and what her destiny was, but as she continued to be born over and over again the memory has begun to fade.

And that brings is to Vanilla.
Vanilla, a seemingly average young woman  from a remarkably small and dysfunctional family, is in fact the latest reincarnation of that traveller. And she has no memories whatsoever of who she was in her past lives.

So, surely must have it easy right? If she can't remember who she used to be in her past lives then she doesn't know about her responsibilities and must be able to live a normal life, right?

Wrong.

The fact that Vanilla knows so little about her family's ancestory or who she is or where she came from makes her feel uneasy. Contrary to what some people might believe, Vanilla isn't an "ignorance is bliss" sort of person. She wants and needs to know things. Knowledge and identity is valuable to her, but her entire existence so far has been nothing but uncertainty. On top of that, although she may not remember her past lives while she's conscious, her old memories have began to slip into her inconscious mind while she's asleep. She has very vivid dreams and nightmares about the women who she used to be in her past lives, though she isn't fully aware that these women in her dreams are actually her, she understandably feels a connection to them.

And it genuinely frightens her that all the women in her dreams seem to die early, and gruesome deaths.

These repeating nightmares have led Vanilla to believe that there is something terrible coming her way. Perhaps she will die a young and violent death too? Perhaps she is doing something wrong, and that is how she will be punished? The only problem is, she doesn't know the full truth. All she has to go off are her dreams, and the looming feeling that something terrible will come for her if she doesn't watch her step.

Because of this, Vanilla tries her hardest to be a good person. She doesn't really believe that it will help, but it's a caution that she has decided to take for her own safety. Sometimes though, she doesn't know how long she will be able to keep up her kindness. She's very isolated as a person, as she doesn't feel like she can talk to people about her nightmares and be taken seriously, she thinks that people will assume she's delusional... To be honest, she thinks that she's delusional, too. To an extent anyway. It may well be only a matter of time before she eventually snaps.

8'D
I bet this makes you look at all those pictures I've drawn of her being happy and upbeat in a whooooole different light.

Her backstory also serves a double purpose as an explanation to why Delune is such a weird place. I know that some people have been a little bit "whaaat?" when it comes to the paranormal aspects of my stories so, well, now you know how it all began. If it wasn't for past!Vanilla being an idiot who wanted to play with power, Delune probably wouldn't have ghosts, or demons, or vampires wandering around.

--
Onto the image itself, a lot of things here symbolize her struggles and her fears, and the symbolism here is pretty easy to spot. She's stood in a darkened hallway, outside the window dawn is just beginning to break, this represents the fact that she has trouble sleeping. The pocket-watch, which is going to become a permanent part of Vanilla's design once I draw her new outfit, symbolizes how time may be running out for her. And the ghostly shadow hands? They're not actually there, they're just imaginary manifestations of her doubt. 

Also, I tried taking a different art direction for this drawing, and I made perhaps my first serious attempt at a lineless artwork. The results might be a little bit sloppy because I'm not used to drawing in this way, but I had so much fun with it, I am not even kidding! Even if the results are mixed. I think it looks kind-of painting ish. I might or might not return to this technique and refine it someday, but for now, I'm pleased with this attempt <3

---
Characters featured: Vanilla

Characters and artwork (c) CendrillonRose
Not to be used, altered, or reposted without permission.


Add a Comment:
 
:iconpimienta-fur:
Pimienta-fur Featured By Owner Feb 17, 2014
*o* I love it!
Reply
:iconbitchkraft:
Bitchkraft Featured By Owner Feb 13, 2014  Hobbyist
The lineless style is so pretty, Jo < 33 The emotion in her face is beautiful
Reply
:iconevanfrnch1:
evanfrnch1 Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2014
quite a story, I'd give vanilla a hug too, since I'm sure she wishes she didn't have the curse of dying and being reborn all the time and never knowing who she truly is
Reply
:iconrabbitroses:
RabbitRoses Featured By Owner Feb 4, 2014
Truth be told, she doesn't really know what she wants, since she doesn't even know about her curse. She just thinks that she's crazy and that something is going to kill her.
In the mean time though, she's totally up for accepting hugs. :'D
Reply
:iconevanfrnch1:
evanfrnch1 Featured By Owner Feb 4, 2014
Well here's another one for the long road out of eden (double time hug)

Reply
:iconsilverjinxx:
SilverJinxx Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2014  Student General Artist

8''''|

Jo u always breaking my heart girl. Holy crap

that is honestly a wonderful backstory even with it being so sad. I feel so bad for Vanilla and what she is going through ;3;

and this is just gorgeous, the art~ It looks painterly which I love love love and just the symbolism and the look of it~

it's gorgeous ;u;

Reply
:iconrabbitroses:
RabbitRoses Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2014
8''''I It's my speciality Shell. I'm known around these parts as JO, DESTROYER OF UR KOKORO. //shot

I'm glad to hear it. To be honest, she's been a really difficult character to write a backstory for. I always knew that she was going to have some significance to Delune, but I didn't want to make her some god-like or ruler-type figure, nor did I want to make her the typical "sad immortal who has lived hundreds of years and is saddened by their cruel life". I think I've struck a good balance between making her paranormal and still very much mortal and at least a little bit relateable. 

THANKS AGAIN
I had too much fun with this aa ;u;
Reply
:iconsilverjinxx:
SilverJinxx Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2014  Student General Artist

8''''I

gurl u need that title on a plaque, that is a lifetime achievement. //shot

 

yes B'3 its a good balance of mysterious mixed in with heartbreak, especially considering the circumstances behind it. Its also extremely unique and I love it so <3 the relatableness is the best part cause then you really get a feel for Vanilla

 

YOU ARE MOST WELCOME.

Reply
:icontravisraccoonus:
TravisRaccoonus Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
So....... Vanilla is like the avatar? XD

Anyway. This makes me so sad now. As you said I was use to seeing her bee happy and upbeat, but now....it makes me want to cry for her and giver a big ol hug ;n;
Reply
:iconrabbitroses:
RabbitRoses Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2014
X'D Like legend-of-aang avatar or blue-cat-people avatar? Either way, I don't 100% get the reference.

;3;
I know, right.
The worse part is, because she has no real memories of her past lives, she thinks that she's just crazy. 
BUT SHE'S STILL ACCEPTING HUGS AND ALL.
vanilla: 8''C come at me with the hugs, man.
Reply
:icontravisraccoonus:
TravisRaccoonus Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Yes like Aang and Korra XD

*hugs her so much* guys join in the hug fest *all my characters join in the hug......except Robert XD*
Reply
:iconrabbitroses:
RabbitRoses Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2014
Aaaaah! I've only watched two episodes of legend of aang so I'm not too familiar with the characters or the mythology of the show, but I heard something about Aang and Korra being reincarnations so... Yeah, I guess Vanilla's similar in that respect :')
Except that she doesn't have any sort of divine destiny.
She's just cursed to never rest in peace, and to die over and over again. 8'T

Vanilla: O_O ... >3> Well, this is a new experience. Who knew I was so loved? *Casts a side glance to Robert* Somethin' tells me that you aren't one for hugs, eh?
Reply
:icontravisraccoonus:
TravisRaccoonus Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Yeah. and that they dont remember their past lives and that they never really die.
Im glad she has someone to love though.......she does doesn't she? >.>

Robert: *shakes his head*

Robert you're such a stick in the mud >3>

Robert: that's because that's what you want me to be
Reply
:iconrabbitroses:
RabbitRoses Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2014
SORT OF? Not really. 8D;
Vanilla's relationship to Maxwell is purely an alternate-universe sort of thing. And their relationship is basically just flirting and annoying eachother. Vanilla does care, but she won't ever admit it.
Main-universe 'Nilla is pretty single, for the time being. She may stay that way, due to her reluctance to let people get too close to her.

Vanilla: ....  *pouts* Stiillll, no need to be so grumpy all the time. C'mon, smile, pretty boy. You can do it~ -w- 


Reply
:icontravisraccoonus:
TravisRaccoonus Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
lol

and naaaaawwww she needs love ;n;
I want to give her all da love


Robert: -_____- fine *gives a fake smile* happy?

I know that was fake Robert >.>
Reply
:iconrabbitroses:
RabbitRoses Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2014
She has plenty of love~
.... okay no, no she doesn't.
I'll probably keep main-universe Vanilla single foreveerr, since it feels kinda odd to officially pair her with people. Especially since she's my fursona. AU ships are always fun though~ 

Vanilla: ... Well, I can't fault you for trying. Here, have a gold star for your efforts. *whips a pack of stickers out of her pocket, and sticks a gold star on him* -w-
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(1 Reply)
:iconcaseydecker:
CaseyDecker Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2014  Hobbyist Artist
The character featured in this picture you've done looks very nice and lovely. :meow:
Reply
:iconrabbitroses:
RabbitRoses Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2014
Thank you :heart:
Reply
:iconcaseydecker:
CaseyDecker Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2014  Hobbyist Artist
You're very welcome. :meow:
Reply
:iconvampirenights:
vampirenights Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2014
Wow poor Vanilla D:>
Here I give you a hot Doctor to cheer you up. *gives you a Max* Fuck his heavy! (Max: Well that wasn't nice! D:|)

Also I really like the style. It really looks like a painting~<3
And I also feel dumb that at first I didn't notice the hands and when reading the description I was like "what???" and I started searching them on the side of the drawing OTL
Reply
:iconrabbitroses:
RabbitRoses Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2014
D:> IKR. Poor bby.
I think the worse thing about her situation is that she has no proof that she's in any danger, and just thinks that she might be delusional. But hey, at least she's good at keeping up a "I'm so happy la la la~~" act in public, right? <:'D (Vanilla: Well it's the truth, you are kind of heavier than you look.  V_V *... thinks "wait, I needn't talk. Look at me, I'm like a marshmallow"*)

<3 I thought so too. The colours aren't quite as vibrant as I wanted them to be though, but I think this is a good start for a first attempt at lineless. I may just try this again some day.
Psssh, no worries. I kinda wanted them to be subtle and look like they blended in with the shadows.
Reply
:iconvampirenights:
vampirenights Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2014
(Max: I'm hardly 60 kg!
Adrienn: Ha you're like 10 kg heavier than me, boney!
Max: Don't you think that's sad?
Adrienn: Nah, I'm okay. Now go hug your AU... gurlfrand... or whatever she is.
Max: Okay~ *hugs Vanilla*)

It's better this way. It gives it more of a dark lonely feel.
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:iconrabbitroses:
RabbitRoses Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2014
(Vanilla: how the fuck are you less than 60 kg, you feel like you're at least 400-- *shuts up abruptly as she's hugged, and she tenses up a little. Honestly, she's not used to this sort of affection from anyone, and all she can really do is look surprised* ..... You're, um, hugging me. *//vanilla has evolved into captain obvious//*)

That was all part of
MY PLAN.
:iconmwahahaplz:
Reply
:iconvampirenights:
vampirenights Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2014
(Max: ...Yes. Do you want me to stop?
Patrick: *watching from afar* ... ... ... ... ... *gives Max the middle finger* Yousonuvabitch--
Adrienn: It's such a good thing you have emo hair~ It's so convenient at times like this~
Patrick: ...Go to Hell!
Adrienn: I wish.)
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:iconrabbitroses:
RabbitRoses Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2014
(Vanilla: .... *pauses for a moment, looking a little hesitant, but shakes her head* No. I sort of needed to feel the warmth of another living person today. Don't ask why, it's complicated. And it's not that I like you or anything. I could have gotten this hug from anyone else, so don't get any ideas..... And why do I feel like we're being watched by a person with emo hair??)
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